So now I have caught up to date, I can start trying to write a bit better!
23rd of April was round 3 of chemo. I was actually dreading it, I was so terrified. I had to go in early for blood tests as the day before was a public holiday. Thankfully it started with the nicest nurse every who accessed my port so quick and painless, and then I could go and wait a bit before chemo.
I met a new oncologist who runs my chemo clinic, who had been away on leave while I started. And I love her so much. She told me I was amazing and I just about burst into tears on the spot. Sometimes it's nice to hear that when you feel like you are just pretending to be this breast cancer fighting survival warrior that everyone thinks you should be. I don't want to get out of bed and take my drugs and fight this thing. I don't want to have this thing at all. I don't know if I have the energy to fight it sometimes. But anyways the oncologist was wonderful. And she made me smile and was genuine and I needed that.
Chemo went better than I expected which was fantastic. I still felt like a disgusting poison filled bald eggo, but that was ok. I met a lady who sat next to me at chemo. She had been there since 7am that morning, until 8pm at night. For days in a row. Just incredible. I hope she has lots of people telling her how amazing she is.
The next morning I was back in hospital for ultrasounds. I was so excited to see these images as I can no longer feel my golf ball lump. The radiologist let me take photos of the screen, and seeing the results definitely makes the chemo worth it. My lump is no longer almost 4cm, and is now under 2cm and barely a lump at all! It is a huge difference and I am so relieved. I hope it keeps shrinking.
I was dreading Thursday as it is usually my worst day, but this time it went mostly ok. I just felt extra tired this week, like I wanted to just fall asleep everywhere and feel pretty out of it. It's a strange feeling. You feel so useless and like you can't accomplish anything. Normal tasks that everyone just does seem so hard, and it is so frustrating. I get worried people don't understand how hard it is, and how hard I'm trying. And I'm not just having all this nice rest time. I would do anything to go back to normal.
On Friday It was time for another hospital appointment, for my MRI scan requested by the plastic surgeon. I was feeling pretty exhausted but was looking forward to getting this done. I had not read up on the MRI properly though and didn't realise it meant yet another needle and dye injection. But the lady doing this was great and it all seemed to go smoothly. Then we went into the MRI room and my body decided that enough was enough, and it was time to pass right out. I had a little rest before trying the MRI again, and was glad I could get it over with.
I was really surprised that my body had that reaction. I haven't passed out for ages but it showed me how important it is having my full rest days after chemo. My body is so tired and full of yuck, and just needs time to get through.
Today is Sunday the 28th of April, and I am on full rest and recovery day, since I have't had one of those this week. I am going to get a chocolate milk and I'm so excited for it. yum.